What Could've Been
by CaptainSwanLuver
Summary: Written for CS AU Week. What if Emma had walked away from Killian in NY instead of drinking the memory potion? Five years later, Emma's life is miserable. So, she makes a wish to see what her life would've been like if she had drunk the memory potion. What happens when she wakes up in a bedroom that is not hers and finds herself married to the crazy man with the memory potion?
1. Chapter 1

**Title** : What Could've Been (Written for CS AU Week - Day 7: Free for all)

 **Author** : Steph aka CaptainSwanLuver  
 **Rating** : PG

 **Pairing** : Killian/Emma

 **Characters** : Killian, Emma, David, Mary Margaret  
 **Category** : Romance/Drama/Humor  
 **Disclaimer** : I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.

 **Spoilers** : Nope!

 **Summary** : What if Emma had walked away from Killian in New York instead of drinking the memory potion? Five years later, Emma's life is miserable. One night, she makes a wish to know what her life would have been like now if she had drunk the memory potion. What happens when she wakes up in a bedroom that is not hers and finds herself married to the crazy man with the magic memory potion?

 **Note** : Written for CS AU Week - Day 7: Free for all (So anything goes.) This was originally intended as a one-shot for CS AU week, but it got crazy long, so I had to break it up into three parts. I normally wouldn't post a new multipart story (even such a short one), before another (Operation: Parent Trap) is done, but I wanted to get this out before CS AU week is over. Hope you enjoy it! ~ Steph

…What Could've Been: Part 1/3...

Emma and Killian stood on the sidewalk in the middle of New York.

"Trust your gut, Swan. It'll tell you what to do," Killian pleaded with Emma.

"Henry always says that."

"Then if you won't listen to me, then listen to your boy."

Killian held the small, blue bottle up to her. She stared at him, conflicted emotions crossing her face and fear swimming in her eyes.

She finally shook her head and stepped away from him.

"I can't," she whispered.

Killian's hand dropped to his side. "Emma, please," he said.

"I'm sorry," she replied, then turned on her heel and hurried away from him.

"Swan!" Killian called after her. "Swan, please don't do this!"

She continued on without looking back, tears stinging her eyes.

Killian bowed his head as she disappeared from view.

 _ **~Five Years Later~**_

Emma entered her apartment and kicked off her shoes. It had been one of those days. She had been working for a high profile security firm for the last five years and she hated her job. She spent her days monitoring rich clients' extravagant summer homes and assigning bodyguards to spoiled celebrities. It was soul-sucking, crushing work.

She sighed heavily, as she plopped down onto the couch. Her eyes surveyed the stark apartment. She had moved there after Henry left for college a few months earlier since she no longer required as much space. Truthfully, it didn't feel like home, but, then again, nothing ever did. Without Henry, the place seemed empty, like it was just a space to sleep and store her clothes.

Her apartment mirrored her life perfectly. She felt empty. Sometimes, she felt so alone that she couldn't even sleep at night. Things were supposed to be different. She should have been married to Walsh now. Maybe they would have even had a kid of their own.

But things didn't work out that way. Nothing had ever been the same after the man with the elixir walked into her life and then she walked away from him. She never even knew his name, but she was certain he was crazy. He had to be. How could she have forgotten about an entirely different life? How could she have forgotten her family? How could she have forgotten him?

The last one, in particular, bothered her because, even after five years, she couldn't stop thinking about him. She couldn't stop wondering what could have been if she had drunk that elixir. She knew it was ridiculous to wonder about something impossible. There was no such thing as magic memory potion. Still, she couldn't stop herself from wondering how things could have been different.

After that day, she had gone back to Walsh and accepted his proposal. But things were never the same between them. She could never rid herself of the feeling that he wasn't who she was meant to be with.

The strange man's words ran through her mind on a constant loop.

 _Perhaps there's a man that you love in the life that you've lost._

Whether or not there was, it was enough to give her pause in marrying Walsh. She kept putting off setting a date and, after a year and half, Walsh grew frustrated with her. He began to pressure her and started to anger very easily. He turned into a man she no longer recognized. She finally couldn't take it anymore and broke things off with him. To say he didn't take things well would be a gross understatement. He began to stalk her. He called her at all hours of the night and followed her wherever she went. She even had to get a restraining order against him. Even now, three and a half years later, she still couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched.

Emma got up and moved into the bedroom. She quickly changed and crawled onto the bed, lying on top of the comforter. She stared up at the ceiling and squeezed her eyes closed.

She wished things were different. The mad man's face flashed in her mind. There was something about him that had always seemed familiar. What if she had drunk the elixir? What would her life be like today? She wished with all her heart and soul she knew.

Emma drifted off to sleep with that question nagging at her, as it had done every day for the last five years.

…

Emma felt the morning sun on her face and then something else. Wetness. She scrunched her nose up and slowly pried her eyes open. She came face-to-face with a long, pink tongue as it was licking her chin. Two big, black eyes on a shaggy face stared back at her.

"Ew!" Emma screamed, as her eyes widened and she scrambled to sit up in bed. "Get off me! Where did you come from?!"

Emma pushed the dog off the bed and he ran out of the room. Then her eyes widened even more as she looked around the bedroom. This wasn't her bedroom. Her bedroom was done in all white and grey. This bedroom had pale blue walls and dark furniture. The comforter currently on top of her was covered in flowers of varying shades of blue.

"What the hell is going on?" she muttered to herself. "Where the hell am I?"

She tried to think back to the previous night. She hadn't had anything to drink. She hadn't gone home with some random guy and had a one-night stand. All she did was go to bed. How did she end up here?

Emma's head jerked to the right, as she heard sounds coming from behind a door and noticed a light shining from beneath.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "Someone else is here."

She heard the shower going and then suddenly turn off.

Emma jumped out of bed and scanned the room looking for something to use to protect herself. She had come to the sudden conclusion that she had obviously been kidnapped. Someone must have broken into her apartment last night, drugged her, kidnapped her, and then brought her back to this house. This very lovely, homey house. Okay, so it didn't look like a kidnapper's lair, but looks can be deceiving.

Emma walked over to the closet and pulled the door open. Her brow furrowed at the neatly divided closet: a man's clothes on the right, a woman's on the left.

Either her kidnapper had a wife or he was a cross-dresser.

She dug around in the bottom of the closet, smiling when she found what she was looking for: a baseball bat.

Emma quickly moved to the wall beside the bathroom door. She held the bat up and sucked in a breath, as the door slowly swung open. A man wearing nothing but a towel walked out.

Emma raised the bat up. "Who the hell are-…"

Killian's eyes grew wide, as his arm instinctively shot up and his hand stopped the bat. "Emma, what in bloody hell are you doing?"

Emma stared at him for a long moment. It couldn't be. It couldn't be him. It couldn't be the crazy man who had haunted her thoughts and dreams for the last five years. It was impossible.

"It's you. The lunatic with the magic memory potion."

Killian's brow furrowed, as he managed to remove the bat from her grip. "Emma, it's me, Killian."

Killian. His name was Killian.

"Love, are you okay?" he asked, taking a step towards her.

She took a step back. "No, I am not okay! You kidnapped me! I knew you were crazy, but I didn't think you would do something like this, especially after all this time!"

Killian reached out to touch her arm, but she flinched and moved farther away from him.

"I don't know what's going on right now, Emma. But I am not mad and I didn't kidnap you. I'm your husband. You're my wife."

Emma's mouth dropped open and she shook her head furiously. "You're delusional."

Killian stepped forward and touched her left hand, but this time she didn't move away. "See? Your wedding ring."

Emma stared at it in disbelief, as if the hand didn't belong to her. "This is impossible."

Killian walked over to the nightstand and picked up a frame. He brought it over to her and showed her the picture. "Look. Our wedding day."

Emma stared at the picture of her in a wedding dress and Killian in a tux. Their arms were wrapped around each other and they were all smiles as they gazed into each other's eyes. She knew it was her, but it was like looking at someone else. It was as if she was looking at the picture that came with the frame.

"This doesn't make any sense," she mumbled.

"We've been happily married for over three years, Emma." He paused and sucked in a breath, worry etched across his handsome features. "Please, tell me what's going on with you. You're frightening me. What's wrong, love?"

"What's wrong?!" she spat out. "Last night, I went to bed and I lived in a small, boring apartment. I worked for a security firm. I didn't have a dog or a husband or-…"

"Mama!" came a voice by her side.

Emma looked down to find a little girl not even two staring up at her. She had golden blonde hair like her and sparkling blue eyes like Killian.

"Or a daughter," she finished in a whisper.

Lia latched onto Emma's leg. Emma let out a little yelp.

Killian smiled at the little girl and pried her off of Emma. "Lia, did you manage to get out of your crib again, sweetheart? You're daddy's little daredevil, aren't you?"

Emma walked over to the bed and slowly sank down onto it. She covered her face with her hands. Killian left the room to put Lia back in her crib.

"This isn't happening. This must just be some weird dream. Last night, I was thinking about what could have been if I drank that elixir so that must be why I dreamt of this."

"So you remember that, do you?" Killian said from his spot in the doorway.

Emma nodded, as he came to sit beside her. "Yes, I do. I remember refusing to drink it and walking away from you. That was the last time I ever saw you."

Killian's eyes narrowed. "Emma, you didn't walk away from me. You drank the potion. You got your memories back."

Emma shook her head. "No, no, that's impossible. I walked away from you and I accepted Walsh's proposal and-…"

Killian's jaw clenched. "You think you accepted that monkey's proposal?"

"Monkey?"

Killian nodded. "Aye. After you got your memories back, you went to talk to him and he turned into a flying monkey and attacked you."

Emma couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of that statement. "A flying monkey? You mean like in The Wizard of Oz?"

"Precisely."

Emma shook her head and abruptly stood up. "I have no idea what you're talking about. What I can tell you is I never married him. Turns out, he wasn't the man I thought he was." She paused, adding softly. "And I knew I wasn't meant to be with him."

Emma felt Killian's eyes on her and she grew uncomfortable.

She shook her head. "Okay, you know what? I have no explanation for any of this, but I need to get home. I have to get to work. Will you call me a cab please?"

"Cab? Emma, this is Storybrooke, Maine."

"No, I live in New York."

"You lived in New York until I found you and restored your memories. Then you returned to Storybrooke with me. You helped save your family and this town. And we fell in love, Emma. We fell in love and we got married. We have a beautiful daughter."

Emma just kept shaking her head as she moved to the closet. "No, no, no. This isn't happening."

She began to dig through the closet to find something to wear, when her hands landed on her red leather jacket.

She pulled it off the hanger and held it up to him. "How did you get my jacket?"

"Those are your clothes, Emma. That's your side of the closet. That's your jacket."

"No, my jacket is hanging in my closet in New York, not in Storybook."

"Storybrooke," he corrected, coming to stand in front of her. "And this is your home. You're the sheriff here and the Savior. You have a little brother named Neal. Your parents are Snow White and Prince Charming."

Emma laughed. "My parents are Snow White and Prince Charming? You really are insane."

Killian sighed heavily. He then brought his hand to her cheek and cupped it gently. She didn't move away. "Okay, just calm down, love. I'm going to bring you to someone who can help."

"Great, thank you," she said, breathing a sigh of relief.

Killian moved to the closet and took out black jeans, a dark blue shirt, and a black leather vest and jacket. Emma noted that at least his choice in clothing was less strange than the last time she saw him.

He moved to his bureau next and Emma got a good look at him for the first time. There was no denying he was gorgeous. His bare chest was sprinkled with dark hair giving way to toned abs. Her eyes moved to his arms and her brow furrowed. She remembered he was missing a hand. She'd seen his false one covered with a glove and even threatened to take the other from him, but she'd never seen his bare arm.

She was about to say something when she noticed him pull an apparatus out of the drawer. It was made of black leather and she watched as he strapped it in place on his left arm. He then reached into the drawer again and pulled out a silver hook. Emma's eyes widened as he popped it into a hole in the apparatus and twisted it into place.

"Oh my God, you're going to kill me. You really are a lunatic. You're some deranged serial killer who guts his victims with a hook. I am going to die like I'm trapped in some crappy horror movie. This isn't a crazy, weird dream. It's a nightmare!" she said.

"Calm down," Killian replied. "I'm not a serial killer. I used a fake hand covered by a glove when we met in New York. I, quite correctly, assumed the hook might alarm you." He paused and then added, "I'm Captain Hook, Emma."

Emma burst out laughing. "Captain Hook?"

He nodded. "Aye."

She shook her head. "You don't look like the Captain Hook I remember. He had a perm and a curly mustache. And he wasn't as…" She paused, gesturing at him with her hand.

"Devilishly handsome?" he provided for her with a grin.

She smirked. "I was going to say as young as you."

Killian waved his hook in dismissal. "That depiction of me is highly inaccurate. Frankly, I should have sued Disney for defamation years ago."

"Okay, let me get this straight. My parents are Snow White and Prince Charming and I'm married to Captain Hook."

He smiled. "Now you're getting it, love."

She shrugged. "What the hell. This is just one messed up dream anyway. Let me guess: My best friend is Cinderella."

Killian chuckled. "Even better, she's the Evil Queen."

Emma nodded, deciding to play along now. She figured she would wake up from this bizarre dream a lot more quickly if she went along with it.

"Awesome. So who are we going to see?"

Killian grinned. "Your best friend, Emma."

…

Killian dropped Lia off at David and Mary Margaret's. He decided not to tell them what was happening with Emma yet. He didn't want to alarm them about her condition until he spoke to Regina.

Killian explained the situation to Regina.

Emma stared at her. "So you're the Evil Queen, huh? You don't look particularly evil. Or like a queen, for that matter."

"Do you see what I'm talking about?" Killian asked, while gesturing with his hook at his wife.

Regina shrugged. "I see something isn't right, but I can't help you. There isn't any new curse that I am aware of and she has some memories of you, so she isn't suffering from complete memory loss."

Killian sighed heavily. "She doesn't remember I'm her husband. She didn't even know I am Captain Hook or that her parents are Snow White and Prince Charming. She doesn't remember drinking the potion that restored her memory. She thinks she never did."

Regina nodded. "Yes, you made all of that very clear the first time, but I still don't know what you expect me to do."

Killian's jaw clenched. "You gave her the false memories in the first place. Maybe this new memory loss is a side effect of what you did the first time."

"Side effect? Five years after the fact?"

Killian ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "She isn't acting like the woman I fell in love with, the woman I married. She doesn't even remember we have a daughter."

Emma watched them both in fascination. This was definitely going down as the craziest dream she'd ever had. But, she figured, there were worse things than being married to a drop-dead gorgeous man, even if he did have a hook instead of a hand.

Killian held his hook up to Regina. "She was frightened of my hook. She thought I was a serial killer and was going to use it to gut her."

Regina laughed at that. "Well, I never did understand her strange attraction to that thing."

"She looks at me like I'm a mad man. Worse, like I'm a stranger." Killian rubbed at his forehead and then sighed heavily. "What about the memory potion? Can we procure more of it?"

Regina shook her head. "I'm afraid that's not possible."

Killian sighed heavily. "Are you positive there's nothing you can do?"

Regina felt a pang of empathy for the man before her. They had never really gotten along, but she knew how much Killian loved Emma. She knew he would do anything for her and she couldn't even imagine how much this must be hurting him right now.

"I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do. My advice is to try to jog her memory by showing her what's familiar. Her family. This town. Your home. Tell her stories about how you fell in love. Show her pictures."

Killian let out a frustrated breath. "Fine." He went over to Emma. "Come on, love, let's go."

They left Regina's mansion and Emma smiled at Killian. "She seems like a nice lady."

Killian simply dropped his eyes and offered no response.

…

They walked down the sidewalk, as Killian pointed out familiar Storybrooke sites.

"And that's Granny's Diner. You love her grilled cheese and onion rings."

Emma's lips curled downward. "I haven't had fried foods in years. Gotta stay healthy."

Killian tried to stifle a sigh, as he pointed to the library. "That's the library. Your friend, Belle, works there."

Emma released a snort. "You mean Belle like from Beauty and the Beast?"

"Aye."

Emma nodded. "So if Beauty works at the library, where does the Beast work?"

Killian pointed at Gold's store. "There."

Emma bobbed her head. "Of course."

Killian stopped walking and looked at her. "Does any of this seem familiar, Emma?"

Emma stared into his pleading, desperate eyes and a part of her ached to tell him what he wanted to hear. This may have just been a dream, but the pain he was feeling right now seemed very real.

She finally shook her head. "No, I'm sorry."

Killian's chest deflated. "It's okay. Let's keep walking."

They continued on until they reached the loft. "This is where your parents and brother live."

"Snow White and Prince Charming?"

He nodded, a tiny smile on his lips as he thought he noticed a flicker of recognition in her eyes.

She stared up at the building. "Do all seven dwarves live there, too? Probably gets pretty crowded."

Killian's smile faded away. He didn't reply as they made their way upstairs. He took a deep breath and then knocked on the door. A moment later, Mary Margaret answered the door, Lia in her arms.

"Oh, hi. That was fast," Mary Margaret said.

"Mama!" Lia screamed and held her arms out to her mother.

Emma's eyes widened and she took a step back. Mary Margaret didn't notice and handed Lia to Emma.

"You missed your mommy, huh, little girl?" Mary Margaret said.

Emma held Lia out in front of her like a ticking time bomb as she stared at her. Mary Margaret's brow furrowed at her.

"Mama!" Lia said again, as she grabbed at her hair.

Killian smiled awkwardly and then took Lia from her. Emma breathed a sigh of relief.

"Emma, are you okay?" Mary Margaret asked.

Emma didn't respond, so Killian replied instead. "We need to talk. Let's all go inside."

Emma entered the loft and surveyed it. Nothing. Nothing about it seemed familiar. She looked at her mother and who she assumed was her father sitting at the kitchen table. She felt a slight twinge in her gut, something seemed familiar about them.

She remembered Killian telling her to trust her gut. She hadn't five years ago. She'd walked away from him, even though her gut told her otherwise. Maybe she had made a mistake.

All four sat down at the kitchen table.

"Something has happened," Killian said.

David's eyes widened in alarm. "A new curse? Villain?"

Killian shook his head. "No, um, it's about Emma."

Mary Margaret nodded. "Yes, something seems off with her."

Killian nodded. "Something is. She woke up this morning not remembering that I am her husband, that she has a daughter, that she lives in Storybrooke. She doesn't know who you two are."

Mary Margaret gasped. "Oh God."

"How could this happen?" David said.

"I haven't a clue. She remembers that I came to see her in New York and wanted her to drink the memory potion. But she doesn't remember drinking it. She thinks she walked away from me and has been living a different life in New York ever since."

"Have you been to see Regina yet?" Mary Margaret asked.

"Yes, she did give her the false memories to begin with," David said.

Killian nodded. "We just came from Regina's. She couldn't help. I hoped seeing Storybrooke and her family would jog her memory."

"Has it?" Mary Margaret asked, addressing Emma.

Emma's mouth hung open for a moment. Like Killian, they both looked at her with pain in their eyes. She wished she could take it away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"There has to be something we can do," David said.

Mary Margaret reached across the table and put her hand over Emma's. She flinched for a moment, then relaxed. Something about the gesture seemed familiar.

"Everything is going to be okay, Emma. We'll figure this all out."

David nodded. "Your mother's right. We always do."

Emma stared at them for a long moment. "You don't look like Snow White or Prince Charming."

Mary Margaret bobbed her head. "Well, not in this world. But in the land of your birth, the Enchanted Forest, we do."

Emma nodded. "The Enchanted Forest. Of course."

Killian, Mary Margaret, and David exchanged a look. All three stood and moved to the corner of the loft.

"How are you holding up?" David asked Killian.

Killian rubbed at the back of his head. "I'm going mad. Last night, I went to bed feeling like the luckiest, happiest man in the world. I had an amazing wife and a beautiful daughter. Today, I woke up and my wife looks at me like I'm a stranger and doesn't even know we have a daughter."

Mary Margaret patted his shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry, Killian. This won't last forever. We'll figure it out and you'll get your wife back."

Killian nodded. "I hope so."

Killian found Lia toddling around and picked her up. He walked over to Emma and held out his free hand. "Let's go home, love."

Emma stared at his hand for a long moment, before standing and walking in front of him. Killian's hand slowly dropped to his side.

…

Once home, Killian put Lia down for a nap. He found Emma sitting on the couch, staring off into space. Killian pulled the fairytale book out from a drawer in the coffee table and sat down next to her.

"I thought this might help."

Emma jerked her head to the left and looked at him. She had been so lost in thought that she didn't even notice him sit down next to her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It's a book of fairytales. Stories about your parents, Regina, Belle, all of the fairytale characters are in here."

"What about us? Are we in there?"

Killian nodded, a wistful smile on his lips. "For a bit."

He flipped to a page and pointed, his fingertip brushing across her face. They were dancing at the ball in the Enchanted Forest.

Emma felt a smile pull at her lips. "Where were we?"

"The Enchanted Forest. Your first ball. It's a long story, but we were transported back in time."

Emma lifted her eyes, her gaze scanning his face. "How did we fall in love?" she asked softly.

Killian met her gaze. "Well, I was in love with you before you were with me. Since you'd had your heart broken, you were reluctant to open it again. But, over time, we got to know each other, you began to trust me, and we fell in love."

"And got married."

Killian nodded, as he closed the book and placed it on the coffee table. He stood up and walked over to the DVD player. He took a DVD from the rack and placed it into the player.

"There's something else I'd like to show you," he said, as he sat back down next to her.

Emma was about to ask what it was, when her question was answered by the images on the screen. It was their wedding. She watched as she walked down the aisle beside her father and came to stand beside Killian, who had the biggest smile upon his lips. She listened as they said their vows, tears in their eyes. She saw them have their first kiss as husband and wife, then their first dance.

Emma's mouth hung open as she watched. It felt like she was watching a movie. The woman looked just like her and the man looked just like him, but it just didn't feel real. She figured that was because it wasn't. This was just a very vivid dream.

She felt Killian's eyes on her. The video finally ended and she met his gaze.

"You really love her, don't you?" Emma said.

Killian shook his head, licking at his lips. "No, I really love you, Emma."

She averted her gaze. "You both seemed really happy."

He bobbed his head. "We were. We are, love. You and I have built a very happy life together with our daughter."

"I'm sorry," Emma whispered. "I know this is hard for you. I can see how much pain you're in."

Killian hesitantly brought his hand up to cup her cheek, waiting for her to flinch from his touch, but she didn't. Instead, he actually felt her lean into his palm.

"We've been in dire straits before, Emma. But we always find a way through. I'll never give up on you or us. We'll figure this out. I promise."

Emma dropped her eyes, but didn't reply.

…

End of Part 1

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph


	2. Chapter 2

**Title** : What Could've Been (Written for CS AU Week - Day 7: Free for all)

 **Author** : Steph aka CaptainSwanLuver  
 **Rating** : PG

 **Pairing** : Killian/Emma

 **Characters** : Killian, Emma, David, Mary Margaret  
 **Category** : Romance/Drama/Humor  
 **Disclaimer** : I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.

 **Spoilers** : Nope!

 **Summary** : What if Emma had walked away from Killian in New York instead of drinking the memory potion? Five years later, Emma's life is miserable. One night, she makes a wish to know what her life would have been like now if she had drunk the memory potion. What happens when she wakes up in a bedroom that is not hers and finds herself married to the crazy man with the magic memory potion?

 **Note** : Thanks for the responses to the first part. Thank you to those who responded to the last part of "Operation: Parent Trap". Hope you enjoy this part! ~ Steph

…What Could've Been: Part 2/3...

Late that afternoon, as he and Emma were looking through family photo albums, Killian's cell phone rang. He answered it on the second ring.

He sighed heavily, as he listened to the person on the other end. "Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up and looked at Emma. "I'm sorry, I have to leave for a bit. With you unable to be sheriff right now and your father having changed careers, it falls to me, the deputy sheriff, to see to any emergencies."

Emma bobbed her head. "That's right. I forgot. You mentioned she…I…am sheriff earlier."

Killian nodded, as he stood. "Aye. I won't be long." He paused and looked at the baby monitor. "Lia should sleep the entire time. Are you okay to stay with her?"

Emma felt her heart begin to race. "You're just going to leave your daughter alone with a complete stranger?"

Killian shook his head. "No, I am going to leave my daughter alone with my wife. Emma, you're her mother, even if you don't remember it. And in the reality you remember, you never gave Henry away. You must have cared for him when he was young, so you have experience caring for a child."

Emma's eyes narrowed. "Wait, do you mean in this reality I gave my son away?"

"Aye. You gave him up for adoption and he was adopted by Regina."

"The Evil Queen adopted my son?" Emma shook her head sharply. "Where is Henry now?"

"He is away at college in Massachusetts. He's fine."

Emma rubbed at her head. It was beginning to ache. "Look, I barely took care of Henry as a baby. I was in a home for unwed mothers and the lady who ran it did most of the work."

Killian's expression softened. "Emma, I know this is all new to you, but you are a wonderful mother. You're a natural. You have great maternal instincts." He paused.  
"I'll be back before you know it and I'm sure she'll sleep the entire time."

Killian leaned down to give her a kiss on the lips, something he did automatically. He stopped himself before he made contact and dropped his eyes.

"Sorry," he muttered, before straightening.

Emma didn't respond, as she watched him leave.

…

Killian hadn't been gone ten minutes when Lia started wailing on the baby monitor. Emma's eyes grew wide in panic. She sat still for a few long minutes, hoping the crying would stop. When it didn't, Emma reluctantly walked up the stairs and into Lia's room.

The little girl was standing in her crib and immediately stopped crying when she saw Emma, her arms stretching out towards her.

"Mama! Come here!"

Emma hesitantly moved to the crib, but didn't reach out to pick her up. Lia grabbed at her arms, trying to get her to lift her out of the crib. Finally, Emma leaned down and picked Lia up. The little girl wrapped her arms around her neck and placed her head on her shoulder. Emma smiled, as she slowly brought her hand up to rub her back. She walked over to the rocking chair and sat down. She began to rock back and forth, as Lia gradually drifted off to sleep.

"You're a good little girl, aren't you? And you don't understand any of this. I'm sorry, Lia. I wish I could be the mother you deserve." She paused and added, "I wish I could be the wife your father deserves. He's a good man and a great husband. I can tell that already. This life we supposedly have together seems wonderful."

"It is," she heard from the doorway.

Emma was startled by the voice. She looked up and saw Killian standing in the doorway, a smile on his lips at the sight of his two favorite girls.

"That was fast," she said, as he came to stand before them.

"False alarm." He gestured at them with his hook. "I told you that you were a natural."

Emma shrugged. "I think she's just a really good baby."

Killian nodded. "She is, but she knows her mother, Emma."

Emma dropped her gaze. "Why don't you put her back in the crib?"

Killian stepped forward and gently picked up his daughter. He walked her back to her crib and placed her down into it. When he turned around, he found the rocking chair empty.

…

Killian didn't see Emma for the rest of the day. He desperately wanted to talk to her, but he knew she needed space. Night had fallen and he found her sitting on the porch swing in their backyard. He made his way outside and sat down next to her.

She turned to him. "I know this is all real to you, but it isn't to me. It must be a dream. And when I wake up tomorrow, I'll be back to my old life."

Killian licked at his lips. "Emma, I love you. I've loved you for so long that I can't even recall what it feels like not to love you. I know you can't remember our life together, but I remember it. I remember every moment. This isn't a dream. This is real. And if you never remember us then I will have to accept that. But that doesn't mean I'll ever give up on us. We'll fall in love all over again."

"Killian," Emma said, as his face neared hers.

She felt her heart begin to race as his lips lowered to hers in a soft, brief kiss. Goosebumps appeared on her skin at his touch.

When he pulled back, he searched her eyes for some recognition. His face fell when he saw nothing had changed.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"I just…I thought that perhaps true love's kiss would reverse your memory loss. But it didn't work five years ago, so I don't know why I thought it would work now. Regina told me it doesn't work on memory loss. I guess I thought it was worth a try anyway."

He stood abruptly and Emma saw him wipe at his eyes with his thumb as he turned away from her.

"Don't stay outside too much longer," he said. "It's beginning to get chilly."

Emma nodded, as she watched him go inside.

…

Emma came inside a half hour later and found Killian making up the couch with a pillow and blanket.

"What are you doing?"

He turned to face her. "Well, we only have two bedrooms. I felt sleeping in the same bed with me would make you uncomfortable, so I thought I'd sleep down here tonight."

Emma felt a pang of guilt. "That's very considerate of you, but it's your bedroom."

"Our bedroom, Emma," he said.

"I should be the one sleeping on the couch," she replied.

He shook his head. "It's okay. I'll be fine. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Killian."

Emma walked upstairs into the bedroom, took a quick shower, and then changed into pajamas she found in a drawer she assumed was hers. She crawled into bed and stared up at the ceiling. She could smell Killian on the pillow and it made her smile.

She stayed like that for hours, sleep never coming. There was a part of her that didn't want to fall asleep. There was a part of her that didn't want to wake up and have this life disappear. As disorienting as it was, she knew this was a great life. She had friends and parents. She had a good job and a nice house. And she had a wonderful husband and a sweet little girl. The life she would be returning to was empty and lonely.

Emma was thrown from her thoughts by the sound of the TV downstairs. She glanced at the clock. It was 2 a.m. She assumed Killian was having trouble sleeping too. She got out of bed and walked down the hall. Emma stopped to check on Lia, smiling at her sleeping figure, before continuing downstairs. She entered the living room and stood in the doorway. Killian sat on the couch, a smile on his lips at what he was watching.

Emma took a step closer, her eyes focused on the video. Lia and Emma were on the screen. Killian was obviously holding the camera and she could hear his voice in the background.

Emma was sitting on the floor and Lia was sitting across from her. She held her arms out to her daughter.

 _"Come to, Mama, Lia. Come on," she said._

 _"Come on, sweetheart," Killian said. "You can do it."_

 _Lia grabbed onto the coffee table to pull herself up and then slowly stood on wobbly legs. She took a few jerky steps toward Emma and then a few more before she fell into her mother's arms._

 _"You did it!" Emma cheered. "Your first steps!"_

 _"That's a good lass!" Killian said._

Emma didn't even realize she was crying until she felt the salt of her tears hit her lips. She sucked in a ragged breath and Killian's head jerked to his left at the sound. Their gazes met and held for a long moment.

Emma didn't say a word as she came to sit down on the couch beside him, his eyes never leaving her face.

"Is there more?" she finally asked softly.

Killian smiled. "Aye, a great deal more. I've never been particularly adept with this modern world's gadgets though, so please forgive the unsteady camera work."

Emma nodded, as Killian rewound the DVD. They spent the next three hours watching their life together. Their honeymoon. The day they bought this house. Lia's birth and first birthday. Her first word. Every Christmas. Every anniversary. And just normal, everyday moments sprinkled in between.

Emma was mesmerized by the images on the screen. She knew the woman in the videos was her, but she also knew she had never lived these moments. She felt an ache in her chest wishing that she had been there to experience them.

Soon, exhaustion overtook them both and Emma found herself placing her head on Killian's shoulder without even realizing it. He rested his head against hers as they both drifted off to sleep.

…

Emma felt the sun on her face, just as she had the morning before when her world had turned upside down. Her eyes flew open, certain that she would find herself in her bed in her apartment in New York. But when she surveyed her surroundings, she found that she was in the same living room she had fallen asleep in. She felt herself breathe a sigh of relief, as she realized she was happy to still be living this life.

It was then that she realized Killian was still sleeping next to her. His head was still on top of hers. She liked the feeling of having him beside her. Slowly, he stirred, his head jerking up when he realized he was severely invading her personal space. He ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up in all directions.

"I'm sorry," he said, jumping off the couch.

She smiled. "Don't be."

He stared at her for a moment, hoping to see recognition in her eyes, but there was still nothing.

He bowed his head. "So I, uh, was thinking we could go see your parents today. Perhaps spending more time with them will jog your memory."

Emma nodded. "Okay."

Killian hooked his thumb behind him. "I'm going to take a shower, get dressed, and then I'll get Lia ready."

He went upstairs, as Emma sat frozen to her spot. Images of the life they supposedly shared together flashed in her mind. She had wondered what things would have been like if she had drunk the potion. Now she had her answer. This path, this road not taken, would have been amazing. Maybe she never wanted to wake up from this dream.

A half hour passed and Emma finally made her way upstairs to get ready. She heard Killian's voice coming from Lia's room. She stopped in the doorway, a smile upon her lips when she saw them together. He was attempting to dress her, but she was squirming all over the place.

"Ah, your mother always was better at this." He placed a kiss to her cheek. "I miss her. It's so strange to stare into the eyes of the woman you love, your wife, and see nothing. She doesn't know me or you, Lia." He paused, taking a deep breath. "But she's still your mother. There's a spark inside of her that comes out every so often and then I know it's her."

Emma blinked back the tears suddenly stinging her eyes, as she moved from the doorway and continued to their bedroom.

...

An hour later, Emma sat at the kitchen table in her parents' loft. Killian, David, and Mary Margaret sat across from her.

Mary Margaret nodded. "Your father and I spent all day yesterday researching spells and curses, but we came up empty."

"But we're not giving up," David added.

Emma felt her head begin to hurt. This was all too much. She rubbed at her forehead with the heel of her hand.

Killian reached out and covered her other hand with his. "Hey, love, are you okay?"

"Fine. Just a headache."

Mary Margaret's eyes flashed. "Wait a minute. Maybe we're going about this all wrong. Maybe this is medical related. Maybe she suffered a head injury or is sick and that's what caused the memory loss."

Killian's expression grew worried. "I think that scenario concerns me more than any spell or curse."

"Well, Emma should get checked out to be sure," David said.

Emma's mouth hung open in silent protest.

"I'll call Doc," Mary Margaret said.

Emma finally found her words. "You mean the dwarf?"

"Yes, of course," Mary Margaret nodded.

Emma shook her head. "No way. I am not being examined by a fictional diminutive doctor."

"I assure you he has his EFML," Mary Margaret said.

"EFML?" Emma repeated, her brow furrowed.

"Enchanted Forest Medical License," David clarified matter-of-factly.

"Oh, that's comforting," Emma replied with a roll of her eyes.

"The course work is actually quite rigorous," Mary Margaret said.

"I can only imagine," Emma muttered.

David bobbed his head. "Okay, then we'll just take you to the hospital

to get checked out."

Emma's nostrils flared and she stood up abruptly.

"No, I am not going to the hospital to be poked and prodded like I'm some guinea pig. I am fine. I just want you to leave me alone."

"Emma, we're your parents and we love-…" Mary Margaret began.

"You're not my parents! My parents abandoned me! I don't have any parents!" Emma said, cutting her off.

"I know that's what you remember but-…" David said.

"No, that's the truth," she replied sharply.

With that, she stormed out of the loft. David and Mary Margaret both stood to go after her, but Killian shook his head.

"I'll go," Killian said, holding up his hand to halt them.

...

He found her sitting on the edge of the dock staring at the water. One

thing hadn't changed. She always came here to think.

He sat down beside her.

"I'm sorry about what happened in there. They're just worried and want

to help."

She nodded. "I know. The funny thing is, I've wanted parents my whole life. I would have given anything to have parents who cared about me and wanted to help me and protect me. And now that I have them I don't know how to deal with it."

Killian gently touched her cheek and she met his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For what?" she asked.

"For pushing you to remember. For overwhelming you with stories and pictures and videos."

Emma smiled. "I've enjoyed learning about your life together."

"Our life together. But I have to face the fact that you may never remember that life. I need to get to know who you are now." He paused, inhaling deeply. "So tell me. What has the last five years been like for you?"

Her smile faded. "In a word: Miserable. Except for Henry, I hate everything about my life. I am alone. I work for a security firm, a job I detest. I come home everyday to an empty apartment that feels more like a hotel than a home."

"I'm sorry."

Emma's voice softened as she met his gaze. "The truth is, I was happy to wake up this morning and still be in this life with you."

"You were?" he asked, arching a single eyebrow.

She bobbed her head, her face reddening under his gaze. "Yes. Actually, I've thought of you often over the last five years."

His eyes widened. He didn't understand what was happening with her. But

this was her reality, so he figured it was best to try to understand it.

"You have? I would have thought you would have banished all thoughts of

me," he replied.

She shook her head. "I couldn't. There was something about you I couldn't shake. I often wondered how my life would have been different if I had drunk that potion. And now I know. This life is wonderful." She paused, her eyes scanning his face. "I think you're pretty wonderful too." She stopped again, licking at her lips nervously. "There's something I've been wondering about though."

"What's that?"

"What made Captain Hook change from a villain to a loving husband and

father?"

A smile pulled at his lips. "In a word: You."

"Me?"

He nodded. "Aye. You saw good in me. You saw the man I could be and you believed in me. You changed everything, Emma."

Emma smiled. She tentatively reached over and linked their fingers together. Killian's brow rose, surprised by the gesture.

…

Killian and Emma stepped into Granny's Diner. All eyes were immediately on Emma when she walked in the door.

She turned to Killian, her face reddening. "Everyone's looking at me."

Killian tilted his head. "Word travels quickly in this town. We can go home for lunch if you're uncomfortable."

Emma didn't reply, but shook her head. She moved to a corner booth and immediately picked up a menu, as if it would shield her from their prying eyes.

"You're important to everyone in this town, Emma. They're just concerned," Killian said.

"I know." She paused, looking at him. "Do I like what I do? Being sheriff and the Savior, whatever that means."

Killian nodded. "You do. You like protecting this town. You were slow to accept your role as the Savior. It took a long time for you to understand how to use your powers. Being the Savior is an enormous responsibility and it can weigh heavily on you at times."

Emma shook her head in disbelief. "Powers. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around that one. But I'm glad I like what I do. Since I can't stand my job in my reality, it's nice to know I like it in this one."

They fell into silence as they perused the menu. Granny finally came over to their table.

"What can I get you?" she asked.

"I'll have the Caesar salad, dressing on the side," Emma replied.

Granny let out a little snort. "Since when? It's always grilled cheese and onion rings for you."

Emma shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Killian threw Granny a look and she bowed her head. "Caesar salad it is."

Killian ordered and then Granny hurried back to the counter. Emma dropped her eyes to the table.

…

Following lunch, Killian and Emma took a walk along the water.

"Can I show you something?" Killian asked.

Emma nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Of course."

They walked a little further and then Killian pointed at the ship that stood in front of them.

"This is my ship, the Jolly Roger."

"Wow," Emma said, her eyes widening. "You actually have a ship."

"That I do. What's Captain Hook without a ship?"

Emma cocked her head, her eyes scanning his face. "But you don't really need a ship in Storybrooke."

"One never knows when I will be called upon to use my ship for some journey…or trade it for something far more valuable."

Emma's brow furrowed at him, noticing how his voice softened on the second half of the sentence. "What do you mean? Why would you ever trade your ship? You just said Captain Hook needs a ship."

His voice emerged barely above a whisper. "I traded it once long ago."

"Why?"

"To get to you," he replied, his eyes focused on hers.

His gaze was so intense Emma nearly had to look away.

"What are you talking about?"

Killian licked at his lips as he began slowly. "When I came to find you in New York, Emma. I traded my ship for a magic bean so I could use it to get back to this world to find you."

Emma stared at him for a long moment. "That couldn't have been easy. I can tell this ship means a great deal to you."

"You mean far more," he replied in a whisper, his eyes still boring into hers.

This time, Emma had to avert her gaze to the ground.

"Well, I'm glad you eventually got it back." She swallowed hard. "But, in my reality, I walked away from you, never having drunk the potion. Which means you traded your ship for nothing."

Killian shook his head. "No, Emma, it wasn't for nothing because it meant I got to see you again."

"Killian," she said softly.

Killian took her hand in his, as he used his hook to gently lift her chin so their eyes met again. "I'd do anything for you, Emma. In this world or any other. In this and every reality."

Emma stared at him for a long moment. "I'm beginning to realize that," she replied.

Killian offered her a gentle smile.

…

After their walk, Killian and Emma picked Lia up and headed home. Emma smiled as she entered the house, realizing that she had started to think of it as home. She didn't even think of her apartment as home.

They had no sooner entered the house when their dog, Pluto, ran at Emma and started pawing at her legs.

"Oh, hi," she said.

Killian pulled Pluto off of Emma. "Come on, boy. Leave Emma be."

"It's okay," Emma said, bending down to pet the dog. This was the first time she had gotten a good look at him since he had woken her up by licking her face. He looked to be some kind of mutt. "You're a good boy, aren't you?"

Killian smiled. "He's always been a mama's boy. Never cared for me much."

Emma looked up at Killian. "I find that hard to believe."

Killian cocked his brow. "I'll remind you, love, that you nearly killed me with a baseball bat just yesterday morning and you repeatedly called me mad."

Emma shrugged and stood up, her voice softening. "That was before I knew you."

Emma saw his face fall at that.

Her brow wrinkled in confusion. "What?"

"It's nothing," he replied with a shake of his head.

"Tell me, please."

Killian shook his head. "It's just difficult to hear my wife say that she's just getting to know me."

Emma lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Killian forced a smile. "It's okay, Emma."

…

Emma, Killian, and Lia spent the rest of the day together. They played ball with Lia in the backyard and pushed her on her swing. Then they all went for a walk with Pluto.

As they returned from their walk, Emma looked over at Killian and Lia and smiled. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much fun or felt so happy. She was rapidly falling in love with this life…and the two people at the center of it.

Killian felt Emma's eyes on him. "What is it?"

She shook her head and moved her eyes. "Nothing."

Killian nodded his head, choosing not to push the issue.

"So, what would you like for dinner?" he asked.

Emma arched an eyebrow. "You cook?"

"Does that surprise you?" he asked.

"A little. I didn't expect Captain Hook to be at home in the kitchen."

Killian shrugged. "Well, I don't mean to offend, love, but cooking isn't exactly your forte, so I felt it necessary to make the effort to learn."

Emma followed him into the kitchen as he placed Lia in her high chair.

"Are you saying I'm a bad cook?" she asked, a smile pulling at her lips.

"Are you saying in your reality you're a good one?" he asked.

Emma chuckled and shook her head. "Unfortunately, no. My culinary expertise is pretty much limited to scrambled eggs and toast. And with Henry gone, it's been downgraded to frozen dinners."

Killian waved his hook at her. "Bite your tongue. Those are not permitted in this household."

Emma giggled and then began to laugh hysterically as he started to put on a ruffled apron with flowers all over it.

"What?" he asked with a lopsided grin.

"I'm sorry, it's just the image of Captain Hook in an apron. It's quite comical."

She watched as he struggled to tie the apron behind him with his hand and hook.

"Let me help you with that," she said, as she came to stand behind him.

Killian sucked in a breath as she came up close behind him. He could smell her perfume. It was the same scent she'd worn all these years. It was the scent of his wife.

Emma felt her heart race being so close to him. She fumbled with the apron strings, her hands suddenly shaking and her palms sweaty.

"Sorry," she muttered.

She finally finished tying the apron and then came to stand beside him.

Killian was suddenly having trouble forming words. This was all so strange. He felt like he was falling in love with his wife all over again.

"So, uh, you never answered my question. What would you like for dinner?"

"Grilled cheese and onion rings," she replied with a smile.

Killian cocked an eyebrow. "Really? I thought you don't eat fried foods."

"Well, honestly, I really wanted grilled cheese and onion rings at Granny's today. You've had me craving them ever since you mentioned I loved them. I figured a little fried food never killed anyone."

He smiled. "Your wish is my command, milady."

He moved to gather the ingredients.

"Can I help?" Emma asked.

Killian nodded and handed her a few onions. "You can start cutting onions."

Emma went about cutting the onions as Killian prepared the grilled cheese and he heated the oil in the deep fryer. He starred breading the onions as Emma cut them, then dropped them into the fryer.

As he worked, he heard Emma sniffle and he whipped his head in her direction. He found her eyes red-rimmed and she was fighting back tears.

Killian brought his hand up and wiped a stray tear off her cheek. "What's the matter, love?"

Emma shook her head, a smile on her lips, as she met his eyes. "Oh no, I'm fine. It's just the onions." She paused, realizing his hand was still cupping her cheek and his thumb was now running circles on her jaw. "But thanks."

Killian didn't remove his hand, as he moved closer to her. Emma felt her heart begin to beat wildly in her chest as his mouth lowered to hers. His eyes scanned hers for a long moment, looking for any sign of hesitation. He found none as his lips finally met hers in a soft kiss.

This kiss was different than the one they had shared the night before. That kiss had been about Killian trying to bring her memories back through true love's kiss. It was about a husband desperate to have his wife back. This kiss was about two people discovering each other in the here and now.

Emma parted her lips, as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, the kiss quickly growing passionate. She gripped at his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss. When they finally parted, their foreheads remained touching, smiles upon their lips.

They were staring at each other, lost in the moment, when they heard Lia clapping.

"Mama! Dada! Kiss! Kiss!"

They both laughed, finally breaking contact with each other as they looked over at her.

"Lia always says that when we kiss," he said softly.

Emma's smiled faded, as she realized that she had been kissing a man she was quickly falling for, while he had been kissing his wife. It was strange, but she almost felt like the other woman.

She shook her head free of those thoughts, as they returned to their tasks and finished cooking.

…

They enjoyed a nice meal together, their conversation flowing naturally. There were no lulls or awkward pauses. They spoke about their lives and who they were in their own realities. It was odd for Emma. She felt like she knew him. She felt like she could trust him. Normally, it would take her months before she could trust a man, if she ever allowed herself to trust at all.

When they were done, they walked upstairs together to put Lia to bed. Killian placed her in her crib and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," he said.

Emma smiled, as she reached into the crib and Lia grabbed onto her finger. "Goodnight, Lia."

"Love you, Mama!" Lia said.

Emma's eyes widened, as she turned to look at Killian. His expression mirrored hers.

"She's never said that before. To you or me," he said.

Emma's mouth dropped open. "Oh, wow, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" he repeated with a furrowed brow. "For what?"

Emma shook her head. "The first time a daughter tells her mother she loves her it should be special for both of them."

Killian placed his hand over hers. "It was," he replied softly.

Emma swallowed hard and was about to reply, when Killian's cell phone rang.

He groaned in annoyance as he answered it.

"Aye, I'll be right there."

He hung up the phone. "Apologies, I have to go out for a bit. Most likely just a false alarm like last time. I won't be long. Are you okay to stay with Lia?"

Emma nodded without hesitation this time. "Not a problem." She paused and then added with a smile, "Hurry back."

Their gazes held for a moment, before Killian dropped his eyes and left the room.

Emma looked down at the little girl she had only known for two days, but who seemed to have always had a place in her heart.

"Love you, too, Lia," she whispered.

…

End of Part 2

The next part is the last part. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph


	3. Chapter 3

**Title** : What Could've Been (Written for CS AU Week - Day 7: Free for all)

 **Author** : Steph aka CaptainSwanLuver  
 **Rating** : PG

 **Pairing** : Killian/Emma

 **Characters** : Killian, Emma, David, Mary Margaret  
 **Category** : Romance/Drama/Humor  
 **Disclaimer** : I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.

 **Spoilers** : Nope!

 **Summary** : What if Emma had walked away from Killian in New York instead of drinking the memory potion? Five years later, Emma's life is miserable. One night, she makes a wish to know what her life would have been like now if she had drunk the memory potion. What happens when she wakes up in a bedroom that is not hers and finds herself married to the crazy man with the magic memory potion?

 **Note** : Thanks for the responses to the last part! This is the end of this story. It was really fun to write! To the guest who asked where Neal is, he shows up in this last part.

You probably won't see anything from me for a while (unless a random one shot pops in my brain soon) because I leave for vacation on Tuesday and since I'm a teacher, I have to go back to get ready for the new school year when I return. Unfortunately, this means less time to write. I do have a multi-part fic I am working on right now, but I decided long ago to only post muli-part fics once I am done with them so I don't risk not finishing them due to lack of inspiration/motivation. But at the end of this story I included the summary of the new AU one I am working on so you know what to expect from me for the future and don't think I disappeared! Okay, enough from me! Hope you enjoy this last part! ~ Steph

…What Could've Been: Part 3/3...

Emma was watching TV in the living room when she heard the phone ring. She looked around for a moment, feeling as if she shouldn't answer the phone in someone else's home. Then she reminded herself that this was technically her home and Killian was not there to answer it anyway.

"Hello?" she said, as she hesitantly picked it up.

"Hi, Emma, it's your…it's Mary Margaret."

"Oh, hi," Emma said, her brow rising in surprise.

"I wanted to apologize for what happened earlier. David and I didn't mean to pressure you or overwhelm you. We're just worried."

Emma nodded. "I know."

"We'd like to get to know who you are right now, if you'll let us."

Emma smiled. "I'd like that."

Mary Margaret chewed on her lower lip nervously. "There's something else. Your little brother has been asking to see you. David and I think he's too young to understand that you don't remember him or us, so we haven't told him anything about what's happening with you. But we were wondering if we could come by tonight so you two could spend some time together. If you're not comfortable with that though, then we understand."

Emma took a deep breath, as she considered the request. "Okay, sure."

Mary Margaret smiled. "Great. We'll be over soon."

Emma hung up the phone and returned to watching TV. A half hour later, the doorbell rang. Emma brushed aside the fleeting feeling that she shouldn't answer the door in someone else's home as she walked to it. She opened the door and found Mary Margaret, David, and a little boy with dark hair and blue eyes standing in front of her.

"Hi," Emma said, managing a smile.

"Emma!" Neal screamed and ran forward, hugging her lower half.

Emma's eyes widened for a moment. David stepped forward to pry Neal off of her.

"Neal, give Emma some space."

Emma recovered quickly and bent down to Neal. She licked at her lips apprehensively.

"Hi, Neal," she said.

"I missed you, Emma. I haven't seen you in like a week." he said.

Emma swallowed hard. "I missed you too."

Emma stood and moved aside, so they could all enter. They moved to the living room and sat down on the couch. An awkward silence ensued.

Emma finally broke it. "So, Neal, um, you like dinosaurs, right?"

Emma took a stab in the dark. Most little boys liked dinosaurs.

He nodded excitedly. "You know I do!"

"I found this cool show on dinosaurs on On Demand today. Would you like to watch it with me?"

Neal nodded his head so hard she thought it would fall off. "Yeah!"

Emma found the program and turned it on. Neal stared at it with rapt attention. Emma looked at him, a smile on her lips.

She'd always wanted a sibling. She never stayed long enough in any foster home to feel connected to other children. In school, the other kids would talk about their brothers and sisters, and it was just one more thing that made her feel different and alone. She wished she had someone to play with, someone to look out for her. Of course, she never would have guessed she'd have a sibling so much younger than herself, but she still liked the idea of having one.

Neal moved closer to Emma, placing his head on her arm. She flinched for a second, then relaxed. She moved her arm to wrap around him, as they watched the program together.

Mary Margaret and David smiled, as they watched their children starting to bond all over again.

…

An hour later, Mary Margaret, David, and Neal bid Emma goodbye. As Emma opened the door to allow them to exit, she noticed Regina coming up the stairs. Regina, David, and Mary Margaret exchanged polite nods, as she reached the door.

"Oh, Regina, hi," Emma said.

"Hello, Ms. Swan. Can I come in?"

Emma stepped aside. "Sure."

Regina entered and Emma closed the door behind her. Emma led the way into the living room and they sat down on the couch.

"I'm sorry. I know it's getting late, but I was passing by and I thought I should check on you to see how you're doing."

Emma smiled. "A lot better actually. I'm starting to get used to this life." She paused, her voice softening. "In fact, I'm starting to love this life. I'm happy for the first time in a long time."

Regina nodded. "I'm glad to hear that. I wish I had been able to help you."

Emma shrugged. "It's okay. You see, I've always wondered what my life would have been like if I had drunk that memory potion. Actually, the night before this happened, I wished to know what it would have been like. And now I know. It would have been wonderful."

Regina's brow furrowed. "Did you say you wished to know what your life would have been like if you had drunk the memory potion?"

"That's right," Emma said with a nod.

Regina's eyes began to sparkle and a slow smile spread across her lips. "I know what happened to you."

Emma's eyes widened in shock. "You do? What?"

Regina began slowly. "I know you don't remember this, Emma, but you have powers."

"I know. Killian told me."

"Those powers are very strong and you didn't always know how to control them. In New York, you still had those powers, even though you didn't know it. Usually, they wouldn't work in a land without magic, but there are exceptions."

Emma's brow creased in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Regina took a deep breath. "I think you placed a wishing spell without even realizing it."

"A wishing spell?" Emma repeated in disbelief.

"Yes," Regina replied with a nod. "A wishing spell is simple really. It only requires you to wish for something with all of your heart and soul."

"So you're saying when I wished to know what my life would have been like if I had drunk the potion I cast a spell without even knowing it?"

"Yes."

"That's crazy," she said with a shake of her head.

Regina huffed. "Crazier than finding out your parents are Snow White and Prince Charming and that you're married to Captain Hook?"

Emma shrugged. "Well, when you put it that way, I guess not. So what exactly did this spell do?"

Regina gestured with her hand. "It created all of this. It created this reality, Emma. It showed you the road not taken."

Emma sucked in a breath. "So you mean…this life with Killian and our daughter. None of it is real?"

Emma thought it was just a really crazy, amazing dream, but she never expected this.

Regina shook her head. "It's what could've been, Emma, if you had made a different choice five years ago."

Emma felt tears build in her eyes at the thought that this wonderful life never existed, not even in her dreams.

"If I had followed my gut…and my heart," she whispered.

"Yes."

Emma took a deep breath. "What happens now? What if I want to stay in this life?"

Regina shook her head sadly. "I'm afraid that's not possible."

Emma felt her chest deflate. "Why not?" she asked more sharply than she intended.

"Because this isn't real and wishing spells aren't meant to last. They are simply meant to give you what you want. Once that's done, the spell is broken."

"But what I want is this life," Emma said, beginning to feel desperate.

"You didn't wish for this life. You simply wished to know what it would have been like. And now you know."

Emma felt her heart beating wildly in her chest. She felt like she was losing everything.

"So what? I'm just going to wake up tomorrow in my bed in New York, in my old life?"

"It's quite possible."

Emma roughly wiped at her eyes, saying softly. "This life…it's too good not to be real."

Regina smiled gently. "It still can be."

Emma's eyes narrowed at her. "What do you mean?"

"Emma, when you are returned to your old life, you will retain all memories of this one."

"Why? To torture me?" she asked bitterly.

Regina shook her head. "No, so you can do everything in your power to make this life a reality."

"How?"

"You made the wrong choice five years ago, but you can make the right one when you return to your old life. And it starts with finding Hook."

"Killian? I'm supposed to find him when I get back to New York?"

Regina nodded. "You need to come to Storybrooke and drink that potion that you should have drunk five years ago. It will restore your memories of everyone and everything. And then you can pursue the life you want with Hook."

Emma smiled at that. She would get a chance to fall in love with him and create all of the memories she felt she had missed out on. She would have a chance to experience all of their firsts and their daughter's firsts.

"Do you really think I can make this life a reality?"

Regina smirked. "As your parents are fond of saying, true love always wins and love always starts with hope." She sighed and added. "I personally find that to be a bit trite, but you can take it as you will."

Emma smiled at her. "Thank you, Regina."

Just then, Emma heard the door open and Killian walked in. His expression registered surprise at seeing Regina.

"Regina, I didn't expect to see you here tonight," he said.

Regina stood. "I was checking to see how Emma is doing. I was actually just about to leave."

Killian looked at them both, feeling as if they were keeping something from him.

"Thank you," he said.

"Goodnight," Regina replied, as she showed herself out.

Killian came to sit by Emma's side, his eyes scanning her face worriedly.

"Have you been crying?"

Emma shook her head. "No, I'm fine."

"Emma, did something happen with Regina?" he asked.

Emma dropped her eyes to her hands. She wanted to tell him the truth, that she had created this reality by making a simple wish. That their life together, their daughter, didn't truly exist. But she knew it would break his heart and if tonight was the last night they were going to have together then she didn't want to ruin it with the truth.

She forced a smile. "Nothing happened. She was just checking on me, like she said."

Killian slowly nodded, but was certain she was lying.

He stood up. "Well, I'm rather tired. I think I'm going to retire early."

He moved to pick up the blanket and pillow which sat on the end of the couch. Emma placed her hand over his.

"I want you to come to bed with me," she said.

"Emma," Killian whispered, his eyes growing wide.

"I just want you to hold me," she said softly. "Would that be okay?"

Killian swallowed roughly, but managed a nod. Emma stood up and linked their fingers together, as she led him up the stairs into their bedroom. They quickly changed and Killian crawled into bed first. He held his hand out to her and she took it, climbing into bed beside him. She turned on her side and Killian pulled her close, his body pressing into hers. She reached behind her and found his hand, pulling it so his arm wrapped around her.

Emma's head fit perfectly below Killian's chin. He lowered his lips and placed a soft kiss to her neck. It felt so good to have his wife back in his arms again.

"Goodnight, Emma," he whispered.

"Goodnight, Killian," she said, as her tears began to hit her pillow.

It didn't take long before she could feel his soft breaths on her neck and she knew he was asleep. She turned around in his arms and lifted her hand to his face, stroking it. She needed to look at him one last time.

"I'll find you, Killian," she said softly. "I promise."

She then placed her head in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes.

…

Emma felt the warm sun on her face, just as she had the last two mornings. She slowly opened her eyes, hoping against hope that she would find herself lying in bed next to Killian. Her eyes fluttered open and she turned her head to the side. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she was met with nothing but empty space. Emma felt tears begin to sting her eyes as she realized she was back in her own bedroom in her apartment in New York.

She couldn't help feeling a sense of loss. For two wonderful days, she was happy. Now, she felt nothing but emptiness again.

Emma squeezed her eyes closed. She took a deep breath and remembered what Regina said. She could make that life a reality, but first she had to find Killian.

With renewed hope and determination, Emma jumped out of bed.

...

Finding Storybrooke wasn't as easy as Emma had hoped. Turns out, it didn't just show up on a simple Google search. After doing some digging, she was able to find its location. She set out right away and made it there in record time.

Emma smiled as she drove through the town. Everything was exactly as she recalled it. There was Granny's, the library, Gold's shop. She kept driving, but stopped when she reached the house she and Killian had lived in. She wondered if maybe he lived there now.

She got out of the car and walked up the steps. She rang the bell and the door opened a moment later. A young woman answered the door and Emma felt a moment of panic when she thought she could be Killian's wife. She had been miserable for five years, but there was no reason to believe he had been.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked.

"Hi, yeah, uh, does Killian Jones live here?"

The woman shook her head. "No."

Emma breathed a sigh of relief.

"He lives there," the woman said, pointing towards the water.

Emma looked where she was pointing, a smile spreading across her lips at the sight of Killian's ship floating in the water.

"Thank you," Emma replied, before hurrying toward the ship.

She quickly climbed aboard, her eyes scanning it for Killian. Her lips turned downward when she didn't find him. What she did find was empty rum bottle after empty rum bottle strewn around the deck. She noticed a ladder going below deck and she climbed down it. Emma found more of the same below, but he was nowhere in sight.

She felt her chest deflate as she walked back onto the deck and looked

out at the water.

"Emma?" she suddenly heard come from behind her.

"Killian," she breathed, fearful she was hearing things.

She spun around, a smile upon her lips at the sight of him. But he wasn't in the

modern clothing he had worn in the world she had lived in with him. He was wearing the same clothes he had worn when he had come to see her in New York.

He took a few quick steps forward but then stopped, worried she would reject any physical contact with him. Emma, however, closed the distance between them, running into his arms so hard she almost knocked him down. His eyes widened in surprise for a moment until he allowed himself to relax and enjoy the feel of her. He squeezed his eyes closed.

"God, I've missed you," he whispered.

Slowly, they parted and he brought his hand up to cup her cheek, a smile on his lips.

"So you somehow got your memories back," he stated. "Please tell me what-…"

Emma shook her head, effectively cutting him off. "I didn't get my memories back."

Killian stepped back from her, his smile fading.

"I'm afraid I don't understand. You're here. It felt as if you remembered me. It felt as if you knew me."

Emma smiled sadly. "I feel as if I've known you my whole life."

"Emma," Killian said softly. "Please, love, help me understand."

"I've thought about you everyday for five years," she said.

"You have?"

She bobbed her head. "I knew I made a mistake not drinking that memory potion the moment I walked away from you. I didn't listen to my gut or heart that day and I have regretted it everyday since. My life has been miserable."

Killian's eyes grew wide. "Please tell me you didn't marry Walsh."

"I didn't marry Walsh."

Killian breathed a sigh of relief.

"He wasn't who I thought he was."

"You have no idea."

"I have some idea." She paused and then added, "Plus, I knew he wasn't the man I was meant to be with."

Killian saw something in her eyes that he hadn't seen the last time they had been together. There was a spark. A flicker of recognition.

"Emma, you still haven't explained what brought you here."

"A couple of days ago, I was lying in bed wondering what my life would have been like if I had drunk that potion, if I had taken the road not taken. I wished to know what that life would have been like. And the next morning when I woke up the craziest thing had happened. I was in Storybrooke and we were married and we had a daughter."

Killian felt a smile curl his lips. "Sounds wonderful."

"It was. I mean, it was confusing as hell and I freaked out at first, but then I started to get to know you and our life together. I felt happy for the first time in so long. I didn't want it to end."

"Was it just a dream?" he asked.

Emma shook her head. "I thought it was, but then Regina made me realize

it was far more than that."

"Regina?"

Emma nodded. "She figured out I had unknowingly placed a wishing spell when I wished to know what my life would have been like if I'd drunk that potion. I created that reality. It showed me what my life could have been."

Killian smiled. "So we'd be married now? You'd be my wife?"

Emma nodded. "Yes."

"And we'd have a daughter?" he said, his smile widening.

"A beautiful one with my blonde hair and your blue eyes."

"Really?"

Emma bobbed her head. "Really."

His smile faded. "But none of it was real."

Emma stepped forward and took his hand in hers. "But it can be, Killian. That's why I came to Storybrooke."

Killian swallowed hard. "You want that life with me, Emma? Love, the last time we saw each other you still thought of me as a mad man."

"I don't anymore. I know as crazy as it sounds that you were telling the truth."

Killian's smile spread across his lips. "I have dreamt of this. Of you returning to Storybrooke. Of us being together. I just never believed it could happen."

Emma's brow furrowed at him. "Why did you give up? Why didn't you come back and keep trying to get me to drink the potion? I never thought you would give up on me, Killian."

Killian shook his head sharply. "I didn't. I wouldn't." He paused, licking at his lips. "I remained in New York for a couple of days following our encounter. I knew you had accepted Walsh's proposal. I decided to return to Storybrooke to confer with your parents about what our plan of action should be. But before anything could be decided a spell was cast around the town preventing anyone from leaving. And that's how it's remained for five years. People can enter, but no one can leave. I couldn't get to you, Emma, and it tore me apart. The last five years have been miserable for me too."

"I'm glad to hear that," she said with a smile.

He arched an eyebrow. "You're glad to hear I've been miserable for five years?"

"It means we've been miserable without each other. It means we belong together."

Killian grinned. "I've always known that, love." He paused, his grin fading. "This town needs you, Emma. Zelena, better known as the Wicked Witch of the West, has wreaked havoc on it."

"Killian, I still need my memories back. Do you have the potion?"

He nodded, but didn't say anything. "He went below deck and returned a moment later with the small, blue bottle."

"You kept it."

"Of course. I hoped one day I would be able to get back to you. I told you. I'd never give up on you, Emma." He paused, taking a deep breath and holding the bottle up to her. "So how about it, love?"

This time, Emma didn't hesitate. She took the bottle from him, removed the top, and downed its contents. She squeezed her eyes closed as her mind was assaulted with memories. After a few moments, they flew open and met his.

"Hook." She smiled. "Killian."

"Emma," he breathed.

Emma closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Did you miss me?" he asked in her ear.

"You have no idea," she whispered.

Then she pulled back and pressed her lips to his in a kiss. His eyes widened in shock for a moment, before he closed them and eagerly responded. They finally parted and he smiled.

"Well, that was certainly better than the last time we kissed and you gave me a knee to the crotch."

Emma chuckled. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"I'm just glad to have you back. Everyone will be, especially your family."

Emma linked her fingers with his. "We have a lot of lost time to make up for."

"Aye. That we do."

Emma smiled. "And I can't wait to get started."

...

Emma took a deep breath and slipped her hand into Killian's, as she waited for Mary Margaret and David to open the door.

When it finally flew open, revealing her mother, Emma couldn't help her smile. Mary Margaret's eyes widened in astonishment.

"Emma?"

Emma stepped forward, throwing her arms around her mother. "Mom!"

"Oh my God. I can't believe it's really you. I missed you so much," Mary Margaret said.

Emma squeezed her eyes closed, enjoying the comforting embrace of her mother.

"Emma?" she heard come from behind her mother.

She parted from Mary Margaret and spotted David a few feet behind her. Her smile widened and she rushed to him, nearly knocking him over. "Dad!"

David enveloped his daughter in his arms. "I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe you're really here."

Mary Margaret looked at Killian. "How did this happen?"

Killian smiled, then quickly explained the situation. As he finished, they heard a tiny voice coming from the bedroom above them.

"Who's that?"

Their heads shot up. Emma smiled at the little boy who was looking down at her. He made his way downstairs and came to stand by his parents' sides.

Emma blinked back tears as she realized she had never met her brother. On the way there, Killian told her that her mother had been pregnant with him when he had come to visit her in New York. She had missed out on all of this time with him. In the reality she created, she had only gotten to spend a few precious moments with him.

Mary Margaret bent down to her son. "Do you remember all of those pictures we showed you of your sister, Neal?"

"You mean Emma?" he asked softly.

David nodded. "That's right. This is her. She's your sister."

Neal looked up at Emma and smiled widely. She waited for him to hug her, even craved it if she was being honest with herself. Instead, he held his hand out to her.

"Nice to meet you."

Emma chuckled and knelt down in front of him. She shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, too, Neal."

"You look just like your picture," he said.

She smiled. "And you look just like I imagined you would."

Killian exchanged a look with Mary Margaret and David. They offered him grateful smiles.

Emma licked at her lips, as she looked into the blue eyes of her little brother. "I bet you like dinosaurs, don't you?"

Neal nodded excitedly. "I love them! I have a lot. Want to see?"

Emma bobbed her head. "I'd love to."

Neal held his hand out to his sister and Emma slipped hers into it, as he led the way upstairs to his bedroom.

David put his arm around his wife's shoulder and placed a kiss to her temple. "We have our girl back." 

Mary Margaret nodded with a smile. "Yes, we do. Our family is finally complete."

…

 _ **~Five years later~**_

Emma felt the sun on her face and then something else. Wetness. Her eyes flew open and she laughed at their dog, Pluto.

"World's best alarm clock," she said, ruffling the fur on his head.

Emma smiled to herself as she thought about her life now. It was everything she had hoped for and more. It was even better than the reality she had wished herself into because this time she got to live it from the beginning.

She and Regina were able to rid the town of Zelena and she was enjoying her job as sheriff working beside Killian. She was still being the best savior she could be. It was never easy, but it was always rewarding.

But her favorite role was, and always would be, that of wife and mother.

She heard the shower running and quickly got out of bed, a smile on her lips. She made her way to the bathroom and opened the door. She licked her lips at the sight of Killian's bare body behind the sheer shower curtain. Emma quickly shed her pajamas. She took a step forward and pulled the curtain back, her eyes scanning her husband's gorgeous body.

His head whipped in her direction, his eyes widening in surprise for a moment.

"Would you like some company?" she asked.

Killian grinned. "Do you even have to ask?"

His arm shot out and snaked around her waist, hauling her into the

shower with him.

Emma giggled as he pushed her up against the wall and began to assault

her neck with kisses.

...

Some time later, they finally finished getting ready. They went into Lia's room and found her wide awake. She was standing in her crib.

"Mama! Dada!"

Emma smiled as she reached into the crib to pick up their daughter. She pressed a kiss to her cheek as Killian stroked her hair.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Emma said.

Emma found Killian staring at her and her face reddened.

"What?" she asked.

"This life we've created together, Emma…It's more than I could have ever hoped for."

She nodded with a smile. "It's more than I could have wished for."

Killian leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his wife's lips. "I love you, Emma."

"I love you, too, Killian," she replied.

"Mama! Dada! Kiss! Kiss!" Lia yelled.

Emma and Killian simply laughed. Yes, reality was so much better.

…..…..The End…...

Thanks for reading this story! Hope you enjoyed the last part and please let me know what you thought! Below is the summary for the multi-part AU I'm working on.

Tentatively titled "Love & Lies":

Summary: Emma Swan is the star of the failing soap "Love & Lies". Killian Jones is the star of their rival soap. In order to raise ratings, Killian is hired on Emma's show. They immediately clash. Will sparks eventually fly too?


End file.
